I have been waiting and waiting to write and publish an article or a blog about the miraculous and supernatural growth of my arm. I’ve been waiting for almost 4 years. Well, I’ve done facebook updates, posts, and notes about it – the changes, the anticipation, the movement, the pain, the wait – but I have yet to write what I really long to share. While in part it’s ok because some things must take time, in so many ways it is not okay because enough is enough and enough is too much. (Popeye reference here)
To catch up those who have not yet heard of this story and the waiting in faith, allow me to share the back-story: As an infant, my body was injured and because of the injuries, my right arm stopped growing from the shoulder to the elbow and my right shoulder does not sit properly, therefore it does not raise to its full extent. Also, the right side of the collar bone was shortened, the rib cage rested askew, and the bone extending from the right shoulder was curved.
In April 2013, I received the first prayer over my arm for growth. This was before we knew the extent of restoration needed to be complete and aligned with the left side. Even so, during the first prayer, the bone in my arm straightened, the collar bone lengthened, the rib cage readjusted, and the muscles relaxed.
The picture is three years old because not much has visibly changed though I know many things have been internally rearranged. Some can see the difference in the above pictures and some cannot. If you can, great! If you cannot, I am not deterred. If you would prefer new pictures to measure progress, by all means comment and I’ll take new ones.
I have received many, many prayers since the first ones. I’ve had many ‘greats’ lay on hands and speak with authority and power over the limb. There were prayers by several who had already seen limbs, arms and legs, grow under their words of faith. (Just to note: even I have seen two right legs of persons grow as I have prayed over them.) One man (who prayed with me over Skype) said his arm was growing as a result. I politely told him to put it back because it was supposed to be mine. Haha!
There have been spirits of trauma, abuse, neglect, abandonment, chaos, bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness cast away from me. The arm, shoulder and all connecting regions and tissues have been blessed, released in Life, and commanded to realign and grow. I have forgiven, blessed, and spoken Life over everyone I’ve ever known. I’ve broken and renounced all curses, generational and spoken word.
I’m saying all this to say – there has been no stone left unturned and no thought left unsearched. So what’s the hold up? I’m comfortable, albeit unhappy, in saying, “I don’t know.” I’ve been taught to be okay with mysteries, to not bug God with, “Why.” But let me tell you, I’m not good at it. I’m not okay with all mysteries yet and I continue to plague God with relentlesss, “Why” and “Why not.” He has not yet told me to stop asking. I have even found by asking, I usually receive an answer. Not every time, mind you, but very often.
With every hurdle which is cleared there are three or four which continue to be daunting. In my own life, I was instantly healed and delivered from bipolar, suicidal tendancies, and anxiety. Over a few years I was healed and delivered from ptsd, night terrors, addictions, and fear of people. So I have to wonder – What is the deal? Why so long, Lord? Why then and not now?
I’ve been told, “Because of the length of time, you have developed a real relationship with the Lord.” Yes, it’s true. Would I have, had this process not taken so long? I can’t answer that. I do know for certain, however, Father does does not withhold anything from us; not for teaching, admonishment, or punishment. That’s just not how He operates. Period.
I’ve also heard, many times, “It’s taking so long because the physical pain would be too great and He doesn’t want you to hurt.” Okay, I’m good with that. The changes which have taken place over these four years have hurt, a lot. Every time something grows or moves there is stretching of bone, muscle, ligament, tendons and every other related thing. Yes, there has been a lot of pain and over and extended period of time. Yet, I know Father could cause all things to work together for the good of me, who loves Him. I know He could cause movement, healing and growth with no pain at all. So why hasn’t this happened? I don’t know.
What I do know, however, is this – there are many with whom I have shared this ongoing journey. Some are watching and listening and waiting for failure. These people probably think, “Oh, isn’t she cute? She believes the impossible. She thinks God spoke to her and told her she’ll have a whole new arm. Poor thing. Bless her heart.” But there are others who have heard this story and who are waiting and watching for God to fulfill His promises. Some have had their faith and hope renewed as they have listened to me sharing bits and pieces of this unfathomable journey. Some people, each time I say, “One centimeter,” some people’s faith grows a whole inch!
These people are the reason I share this journey. Both types. Yes, for the ones whose faith grows and their hope with me shall be rewarded, but also for the “Bless her heart” group. Which ones would be harder won? For whom am I really contending? I know my arm and shoulder will be renewed and will grow. I have the gift of extra-ordinary faith for it to happen so I’m not really contending for myself. (Revelation for me here, folks) I am really pushing ahead for those who need a faith and trust boost, yes, but mainly for those who don’t believe.
Even in saying, “Whatever it takes for whomever it’s for, Lord,” I’ll also say, in all honesty and transparency, “Hurry up! Enough is enough and enough is too much! I want what’s mine already!” Still, I’ll rely on God and believe in His promise to me, uttered by many who don’t really even know me, “Your arm will grow.”
I’ve prayed all the prayers, as have many who have joined in faith with me, and I now rest in knowing the promises of the Lord will be fulfilled. Interestingly, I can read a post on facebook, read a Scripture, or hear a song, and there will movement of muscle and bone in my arm, with no thought or pre-condition of my own. I’m not surprised by this. It’s just Life, doing what He does.
Ezekiel 37: 4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”
Jeannie B. Wilbourn